17 Comments
User's avatar
Ruth Brown's avatar

Thanks for your vulnerability. I have been there. Praying for the man and whoever helped him to be blessed.

Kathryn Wilmot's avatar

Very sobering and thought provoking......many of us have been there

Lynda MacGibbon's avatar

Thanks…I appreciate the solidarity.

Aghogho Onovwakpor's avatar

Thanks, Lynda. I feel convicted reading this. It may have seemed like just a random man on the sidewalk but Jesus said, that was "Him". Much to think about there. It'll definitely help me think twice before moving along next time. Thanks for sharing.

Deb Carr's avatar

I know exactly what you were feeling, Lynda, and I also know this will stay with you a long time. I carry my own stories, my own guilts - there are no easy answers. We're wired to help when we can, but it's not always safe to do so. And we're not always equipped to do so. But then our hearts are conflicted and we feel we've somehow failed. I can only hope that these helpless times somehow equip us for future times when we ARE in a position to help...and will.

Lynda MacGibbon's avatar

So true, Deb. Experience is a good teacher. Even when the experience is a difficult one. Thanks for reading and reflecting.

Alvin Lau's avatar

"Divine scrutiny". Thank you for naming what many of us (definitely myself included) face time to time.

Lynda MacGibbon's avatar

Credit to Richard Foster…and I agree, we do need it from time to time. Thankfully, I experience it as grace-filled and patient, not harsh. Thanks for reading!

Mike's avatar
Feb 6Edited

Lynda, my own take on your story, there are those in need much more need than those in canada. I've traveled much of the world and I would rather redirect my pennies or dollars to those who have less opportunity. And your means are limited, don't feel guilty. You can't help everyone. You pick and choose your charity and stand by it. And what of the hundreds of drivers ahead of you? Where were they? Welcome to Homo sapiens, mostly focusing on "their" tribe.

Lynda MacGibbon's avatar

True…but in the moment perhaps some of that money did help our friend. You can’t control the ultimate outcome, but I still think you can make a difference in the here and now. Look at us - having one of our great conversations here on Substack. Wish we were sitting across from each other in my living room!

Lynda MacGibbon's avatar

Mike, I agree that there are far more people in far more dire places in the world than here in Canada. And some of my pennies in a small way are directed to those places. But I’ve been conscious for a long time about the importance of being present to the person in front of me - you actually get that! At any given moment, what’s the call on my capacity to make even a small difference in a situation that isn’t somewhere else in the world, but right in my line of vision. I’m hoping one of the other drivers around me actually did stop — that there was a human interaction that made a difference, probably in two people’s lives. Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect back. It matters!

Mike's avatar
Feb 7Edited

Recall israel, $300,000 spent during the time I knew him and all I did was to lay the inevitable. As a good friend of ours (initials R.R.) said sometimes we just have to let go, and sometimes that even means letting them die.

David Bogart's avatar

Thanks for being so open and honest about your choice. We saw a similar case in the subway. Man in hospital clothes and a parka in obvious pain. All we could do was call SafeTTC and give it the details. Never heard if they found him. Sad times.

Lynda MacGibbon's avatar

Thanks for reading and reflecting, David. I appreciate it.

Searching for the Words's avatar

Thank you, Lynda. I used to keep a supply of $10 Timmies gift cards in my car specifically to give out in situations like the one you describe. Until I attended a community safety session with our local police. They advised never to roll down a window or give to people in the streets. I know it’s harsh. I know it feels wrong. But they see the other side. Now I give to community groups who work with the unhoused. It's imperfect. But it's something.

Lynda MacGibbon's avatar

Thanks for sharing, Patricia. I like the idea of the gift cards for coffee. It’s rare to actually have money to give away.